my first belly laughs…{a reflection}

I was looking through old pictures on my phone today and I smiled ear-to-ear as I came across these photos:

While these might look like baby bump photos, they are actually “fake” baby bumps. I thought I would share with you the story behind the pictures; or what I refer to as my first {pregnancy} belly laughs.

Flashback to August 2012..

I joined Craig on a business trip to NYC about 10 days after my mom passed away because I didn’t feel like I was emotionally ready to be home alone. At this point, I was a mere 4 weeks pregnant and we had only shared the news with my dad & step-mom and Craig’s mom & dad.

While Craig was working, I was excited to spend time with my friend Lauren S., who was on a break from law- school and able to gallop around town with me. However, I knew that it would be hard for me to keep the pregnancy a secret from her, as I’m not usually one to turn down a glass of wine! And just as I thought, the minute she ordered a glass of wine at lunch and I ordered a ginger-ale, the secret was out. But surprisingly, it was very comforting to share the news with her (even though it was so early in the pregnancy) because I was still grappling internally about losing my mom and then finding out that I was pregnant the next day; my emotional yin and yang.

We soon found ourselves [one barely pregnant and one definitely not pregnant] venturing over to Destination Maternity and trying on clothes with the help of their fake “6-month pregnancy bump” strapped around our bellies. Thus, the pictures above!

But what you can’t see (or hear) from the photos is what they truly captured – my first good ole belly laugh since my mom had died. And in that moment, I was able to briefly put my sadness to the side and focus solely on the excitement of my pregnancy.

I can hardly believe how fast the time has flown by since these photos were taken, as I’m now approaching 33 weeks with a “real” baby bump way past the “fake” baby bump that we were pretending to have. And while I sit here and reflect on the past several months, I find myself again in an emotional yin and yang; as with each week that has passed by, I’ve gotten that much closer to the day that I will say hello to my daughter for the first time, and that much further away from the day that I said goodbye to my mom for the last time.

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  1. Such a sweet post, Stacy! xoxo

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